Sleeping Apart may be Benefic to Health and Relationship

If you think that sharing a bed with your partner boosts your relationship, you may be wrong. It may actually be doing harm to your health and your sex life studies show. 

Dr. Neil Stanley, a sleep specialist says that a good night's rest is more important than getting close to your significant other. He said that the idea of sleeping together is a relatively new idea. Before the industrial revolution it was not uncommon for couples to sleep in separate bedrooms but as people moved into the cities and were cramped for space it became a necessity.

• In ancient Rome the marital bed was meant for a couple's sexual relationship, not for sleeping reports BBC News. One study found that the average couple had 50 % more sleep disturbances if they shared a bed. 
• The University of Surrey professor said that sleeping apart could prevent couples from getting poor sleep that leads to depression, heart disease, strokes, lung disorders, traffic and industrial accidents, and divorce reports the Nerdy Science Blog. As reported by BBC News, Dr Stanley, who sleeps separately from his wife, was responsible for setting up one of Britain's leading sleep laboratories at the University of Surrey. He said that people of today should consider doing the same. He says, “We all know what it’s like to have a cuddle and then say ‘I’m going to sleep now’ and go to the opposite side of the bed. So why not just toddle off down the landing.”  
• Recent research has shown that 20 % of British couple already sleep in separate beds and that as much as 40 % of couples in their 70's sleep separately reports the Mirror. A couple interviewed by the Mirror said of sleeping separately, "Sex isn’t a problem at all. We simply enjoy it in whoever’s bedroom we end up in before happily retreating to our own double beds to sleep." Simon Rutherford, 35 who also sleeps separately from his wife says, "A couple who sleep separately are seen as a failure, because people assume the intimacy between them has died. So it was great to hear scientists saying that a good sleep alone in your own bed is what keeps a marriage fresh," reported the Telegraph. As it turns out, a lot of couples are sleeping apart. 
• A 2005 National Sleep Foundation survey found that 31% of couples are changing their sleep habits because of a mate's sleep problems reports WebMD. The survey found that 23% sleep in separate beds and that 38% said that their partner's sleep disorder has caused problems in their relationship. Louanne Cole Weston, PhD, a sex therapist and author of WebMD's Sex Matters message board says sleeping apart can be good for a relationship and "It does not signal the end of a relationship at all. In fact, it can be the beginning. If one person has been sleep-deprived, they begin to feel more interested in sex. If you've ever slept next to a person who snores, you have to cope with waking up several times during the night. It does not create good will in a relationship." 

  Source|:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/09/11/meet-the-couple-who-say-sleeping-apart-brings-them-closer-together-115875-21663869/

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/wellbeing/6164064/Get-back-to-your-own-bed-Sleeping-alone-keeps-one-couples-marriage-fresh-and-frisky.html

http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/279063

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/sleeping-apart

What is Sexsomnia. Is it Real...?

aSleep sex or sexsomnia is a form of non-rapid eye movement (NREM) parasomnia (similar to sleepwalking) that causes people to engage in sexual acts such as masturbation, fondling, sexual intercourse and sexual assault or rape while they are asleep. The proposed medical diagnosis is NREM Arousal Parasomnia - Sexual Behavior in Sleep, and is considered to be a distinct variant of sleepwalking .There are often unpleasant consequences associated with sleep sex and it has been used as a criminal defense in rape cases. Other negative effects include feelings of shame and embarrassment and also can cause relationship issue and stress.
             Those who suffer from sexsomnia have confusional arousals and rarely remember the event. People who have a history of doing other sleep activities such as sleepwalking or sleep talking are more likely to exhibit sexsomnia episodes. Factors that may increase episodes of sleep sex are alcohol, sleep deprivation or even sleep apnea and other sleep disruptions.
 Sexsomnia episodes could be triggered by the contact with bed partner.In some cases sexualised movements during sleep could be caused by sleep related epilepsy which results in sexual arousal, thrusting and orgasms.
Simple sexualised movements could be also associated with REM sleep disorders.    
If rape has been committed, it can be psychologically and physically devastating to the individual.
There have been reports of men injuring themselves during sadistic masturbation acts or humping metal or brick walls. Sexsomnia is a disorder that affects males and females. Isolated reports exist about women who have had sex with strangers during the sleep period; in cases where memory of the sexual act is not retained, the detection of used condoms and semen stains on the bed the morning after the sexual incident are signs of the afflictioon.

Cases reported in the press

1. Natalie Pona, the then Sun reporter, broke the story of the first case of sexsomnia in the fall of 2005. On 30 November 2005, a Toronto court acquitted a man of sexual assault after he was diagnosed with sleep sex disorder, although prosecutors filed an appeal of the acquittal in February 2006. The Ontario Court of Appeal upheld the acquittal on 7 February 2008.
2. In Britain, a man from York was cleared of three counts of rape on 19 December 2005.
3. In Australia, a woman was reported as leaving her house at night and having sex with strangers while sleepwalking.
4. On 8 August 2007, a British RAF mechanic was cleared of a rape charge after the jury found him not responsible for his actions when he had sex with a 15-year-old girl.
5. On 23 March 2009, a British woman gave an interview in which she spoke about problems in her life caused by sexsomnia.
6. On 12 February 2010, an Australian man was found not guilty of rape due to sexsomnia.

What appear to be the criteria or characteristics of a sexsomniac? :

• Most people who exhibit this behavior are known sleepwalkers – either in childhood or more recently in their lives.

• The sexual behavior of the individual during episodes of sexsomnia is different than their usual behavior, sometimes more aggressive than usual.

• The behavior is always amplified by situations where sleep quality or quantity is worsened:

o Alcohol ingestion o Sleep Apnea o Sleep deprivation

• Many of the patients were men.

• Several patients report that they were dreaming about having sex, or having some type of sexual fantasy.

• Some of the individuals who reported these behaviors were actually physically sexually aroused, but not all were.

• This behavior seems to occur in deep non-REM sleep at anytime throughout the night.

• The behavior can last up to 30 min.

• The behavior is found almost exclusively in adults.

Sexsomnia appears to be a situation that warrants further study. If you are experiencing these behaviors you should tell your doctor or sleep specialist immediately as there have been reported cases of deviant sexual behavior leading to, in some cases, abusive situations.
 
Source:http://blogs.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/2010/04/is-sexsomnia-real.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_sex
http://www.sleepsex.org/

 

What your sleeping position says about you ...

Foetus

Those who curl up in the foetus position are described as tough on the outside but sensitive at heart. They may be shy when they first meet somebody, but soon relax. This is the most common sleeping position, adopted by 41% of the 1,000 people who took part in the survey. More than twice as many women as men tend to adopt this position. 

Log

Lying on your side with both arms down by your side. These sleepers are easy going, social people who like being part of the in-crowd, and who are trusting of strangers. However, they may be gullible.

Yearner

People who sleep on their side with both arms out in front are said to have an open nature, but can be suspicious, cynical. They are slow to make up their minds, but once they have taken a decision, they are unlikely ever to change it. 

Soldier

Lying on your back with both arms pinned to your sides. People who sleep in this position are generally quiet and reserved. They don't like a fuss, but set themselves and others high standards. 

Freefall

Lying on your front with your hands around the pillow, and your head turned to one side. Often gregarious and brash people, but can be nervy and thin-skinned underneath, and don't like criticism, or extreme situations. 

Starfish

Lying on your back with both arms up around the pillow. These sleepers make good friends because they are always ready to listen to others, and offer help when needed. They generally don't like to be the center of attention.

* The remainder of those in the poll said the position they fell asleep varied or did not know.
*Professor Idzikowski also examined the effect of various sleeping positions on health. He concluded that the free-fall position was good for digestion, while the starfish and soldier positions were more likely to lead to snoring and a bad night's sleep.* Professor Idzikowski said "Lying down flat means that stomach contents can more readily be worked back up into the mouth, while those who lie on their back may end up snoring and breathing less well during the night. "Both these postures may not necessarily awaken the sleeper but could cause a less refreshing night's sleep."

*The research also found that most people are unlikely to change their sleeping position. Just 5% said they sleep in a different position every night.

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